Kate says goodbye 2008

Most people know that 2008 wasn't my best year but I can't help but smile at some of the really good memories ...seeing wild elk up really close, catching my first trout, watching Paul graduate, listening to Lee make jokes at the graduation party, Dwight asking Lee how far along she was, Dwight and Lauren using a pogo stick, having Beth come home, Ben Patrick's phone call about his second deer, Daddy's wedding, watching my neices and nephews dance at the wedding(Brother spiking the punch helped). The list could go on, but that's all in the past and there's a new year just around the corner with plenty more to do and memories to make. I'll try to make something new every month. I'll try more new things.And I'll laugh more than I ever have. Have a safe and Happy New Year.

Can I?

Lookie! I transferred the picture from my camera and posted it on the web. Thanks for the camera sweetie. You've created a photo monster.

Pergatory

Pergatory-the land in between heaven and hell. Having nothing to do at work, but yet denied the ability to take off and enjoy spring-like temperatures outside. Having no money to spend and nothing to spend it on. Nothing to watch or read. How many hours until the New Year?

Hard Candy Christmas

My baby sister mentioned having a "Hard Candy Christmas" after losing someone she dearly loved, and while I haven't lost someone-I've lost something.
Last night, at midnight mass, I couldn't receive communion because I'm not in a state of grace-me being divorced and it bothered me. Maybe that's why the church does it-to give us sinners something extra to feel guilty about. The communion bothered me-but it really got me to thinking about life in general-what else would I miss if it were taken away from me? Anything to do with my kids for sure. It's killing me today only seeing them for a short time on Christmas day. As much as my dog irritates the hell out of me-I'd miss him snuggling in the bed. I miss dinners with my siblings. I missed Dwight terribly at church last night-for a non-Catholic, he attends mass with me a lot.
But, Dolly sings she won't let sorrow bring her way down and I don't think I will either. I have the love and support of my family. I have wonderful kids that have a great future, and I have a wonderful man that cares for me. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

The Sweetest Sound

Anyone with children can tell you that one of the sweetest sounds you will ever hear is the children laughing together. Not at each other, but with each other. There is a huge difference. Last night, I feel asleep with the sound of that laughter in my ears. My toddlers are 20, 18 ,and 16 (years not months).The source of laughter had something to do with the dog and he appears to be in fine spirits today too.

Career Ended

Yep..that's right. Sunday afternoon Chalupa (my six pound Chiuaua), ended his career as a squirrel dog. Dwight shot the twenty-two and Chalupa took off like a bat out of hell. He won't be going hunting anytime soon. Pity, since he really loves chasing squirrels. Chalupa that is-never mind-Dwight loves chasing them too.

What do I want for Christmas?

I want snow on Christmas morning. I want to reach out and hug all three of my kids at once. I want to know that "Peace on Earth" isn't just something that people put on cards...maybe just maybe the fighting will stop that day and no one will lose his/her life-soldiers will be with their families. I want people not to be afraid of the future or change and to understand that God hears our prayers and sometimes He has a different vision of what should happen. I want my children to know that I love them more than anything in the world and if at all possible I would like other children to feel the same mother's love.I want to know that in the United States that every child has some joy on Christmas day(see I'm not too greedy).

Christmas tree is up

The tree is lit and decorated with even a few presents underneath. I had fun putting on the lights with the boyfriend's help, but I think he got his revenge. I get to meet his entire family-aunts, uncles, and various cousins all at once. They don't wear name tags.This ought to be fun.

Do you know your Mom?

I thought I knew my mom-after all, she's my mom. Well.. I didn't know that she leaves the tv on for her dog (I think my sisters may also do this). I didn't know she keeps potatoes in the refrigerator (still unsure as to why this happens). And I never suspected that she would put cream cheese on a doggy biscuit. Apparently, Fluffy doesn't care if it's whipped or regular cream cheese. Flavored is ok too.

I'm dreaming of a White Christmas

Actually, I don't care if it really snows on Christmas day-but sometime that weekend would be nice. The snow was falling as I tried to pick out a Christmas in the woods this weekend.

Thanksgiving

As thousands of turkeys roasted in ovens across the nation, I said goodbye to the little house where my children grew up. I'm not ashamed to admit there were tears in the eyes as I did so BUT it was Thanksgiving and I'm thankful for a lot of things that happened in that house. I'm thankful for all of the pictures taken in front of the fireplace-they're too many to count and they start when the kids stood half way up to the mantel-they last ones show the kids towering above the mantel. I'm thankful that no one ever fell off the roof putting up Christmas lights(the kids have done this for years now). I'm thankful that none of the kids were hurt when they hid the artificial tree in the attic so we'd be forced to buy a real tree.I'm really thankful as I walked through each room that I heard echoes of children's laughter in every room. There was the slime in Paul's room that went thru the ceiling fan. There was the washing of the cats in the kids bathroom. There was the heart and house that Lauren painted on her closet wall when she was 3. There was the dream catchers and millions of books in Beth's room.No one can forget the iguana climbing into the fireplace. There were the light bulbs in the microwave, and my pink passion bed room.And I'm glad that I was too busy living my life to organize it. My eternal thanks to Rhett, Ben, and Mike McDonald for their help in the final hours.

Lessons learned in moving

The house was on the market for less than 40 days-and that is why I tell myself that I am so utterly not prepared to move. It doesn't matter that the kids are protesting the move and have to be threatened to move/box their things. It doesn't matter that I have lived at the house for over 12 years. I'm not the most organize individual and it shows.Boy, does it ever. Wish me luck.

Only 42 more days

Yes, that's right only 42 more days until Christmas. Have you started shopping? Do you have a favorite Christmas gift that you received as a child? I love the shopping. The hunt to find the perfect gift for each person. Of course, you can't get a bull's eye with every shot, but it's still fun to try.

A Thanksgiving Story for Robyn

My sister's blog tells a funny story that she had with a turkey. I never had a turkey experience, but one Thanksgiving stands clear in my mind. I was at my in-laws house and someone had the bright idea to have everyone join hands around the table. We were all supposed to tell the family something that we were Thankful for and it went great until we got down to one of the last and smallest children. When it came her turn, she was thankful for her mom. Someone asked if she was thankful for anything else and she just replied No-without her I wouldn't have anything.
It got really quiet and it was funny how many people tried to hide tears. None were very successful and we never did the circle again.

Just a little thing

So Mom if you're reading this-brace yourself-when I visit the boyfriend we sleep in the same bed. Imagine my surprise when I went to climp in bed and there were at least three blankets(one being an electric one already warmed up). A little background here-he is very hot natured. So it's the little things that make a big difference. Note: breakfast in bed is an added bonus.

Not me

I was never going to have my baby on Halloween. Not me. And certainly not in the middle of the day.Not me. I was not going to be an overprotective mother and make my child call me when she left the house and went she got to school. Not me.
I was never going to live my life through my child, but everything she has done is something that I would enjoy doing. I don't think I could be prouder or in more awe of the woman that my little girl has become. Happy 20th Beth.Next year the drinks are on me.

The Weekend

Beefy's back in town. Lauren had a blast at the homecoming dance. Lauren and Dwight were a great help hanging balloons and helping with signs. Mom made a wonderful cake and Dad and his wife were a great help at the airport(Beefy had overstuffed a duffel bag and it exploded). I think the best thing about day is breathing-a big breath in and a bigger one out-lots of happy sighing over this way.

28 hours

Yep. That's right. Twenty-eight hours until the baby comes home. The real baby is going to home coming tonight so go Miners!

The Count Down

Yes, it's Wednesday and Saturday seems a long, long way off, but really it's less than 73 hours until Beefy comes home. Shamelessly, I've already laundered her sheets and cleaned the house. Meanwhile, the youngest is going to Bauxite's Homecoming and she's telling me the girls there don't wear dresses-what? No dresses for homecoming? No awkward pinning to the dress or boobage? Boy some kids don't know the fun they're missing. I'll never forget my first homecoming dance-at Catholic High school. The priest locked the doors and wouldn't anyone leave until the dance was over. He didn't care that my curfew was earlier and I got grounded. Sometimes life is unfair.

The Update

Yea, my baby is coming home. She'll be arrive in Little Rock shortly after 8pm on Saturday. Everyone is invited to the house around 9 for cake to celebrate.

Update

News is not good on the tests. Two of the three were above average-the other one is just half a point below passing. No they will not average the scores together. I know she can take the test again in six weeks, but she's communicated with her unit and there is still a slight possiblity that she may get to come home. But only slight. We'll find out Friday or Monday. Need those charms badly.

Dum de dum dum

Beth made me promise her that I wouldn't call and ask for her test results. She'll call me and let me know. Now I can't drive her crazy just myself crazy. Dum de dum dumm.

Good luck charms

I'm trying to send some luck to my faraway soldier girl. She's taking her big tests today and Wednesday. If she passes those tests she'll be home next weekend. So send me your lucky charm ideas. I'm already praying up a storm and rubbing the rabbit's foot.

Fall Migration

There's one day in the spring that all the turtle eggs seem to hatch. Not too long ago, my kids and I would drive around trying to save as many as we could-I really don't understand why a turtle (or even a chicken) just has to cross the road, but they do. Those little half-dollars with legs trying to make it across two lanes of traffic-talk about high hopes. Anyway, our record for one day was 17 (maybe this is why some box turtles are endangered?). Coming back from the Ozarks, I didn't see cute little turtles, but the biggest spiders I have ever seen. After consulting with Hillybilly, he did verify that the spiders have their own migration day too. So sorry Charlotte, couldn't make myself stop for even one. Wilbur would be so disappointed in me.

Anniversary 100

Yes, this is my 100th blog. Kinda ironic that it also celebrates my single status of one month.
Check out Pink's latest song on the you tube. I think it might be my new favorite song-and yes her ex really is pictured in the video.

The email

You know those cutesy emails that people send out? Every once in a while, I read one that sticks in my head and gives me something to think about. I've forgotten who sent it or what the entire message was but my thought for the day:

When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

IMPORTANT Lesson learned

My friends do not EVER attempt to ride a mechanical bull after eating a funnel cake. It is not a good feeling.

Happy Birthday Ms.Songer

Happy Birthday Ms.Songer-may you always dance til the cows come home. (She's pictured in brown by her grandson in blue).

Time to get ready for Halloween

You should always start getting ready for Halloween with some good pumpkin decorations. I really would like to do something like this in my front yard.

End of Summer

I hate the end of summer-I just want to lay on a beach just one more time. Thanks for the picture Beth.

The Wedding

It was a nice wedding. It was a fun wedding. Her five kids were there. His four kids were there. At least a dozen grandchildren were present. I hate to cry at weddings and in my bitchy moods I often make fun of those that do, but when the bride gave a rose to each daughter and grandchild (even the one on the way) from her bouquet-I lost it. I didn't care who saw me try to save my makeup-and when I thought I had managed to save my mascara-there were plenty of others trying to do the same. My daddy looked so happy. My mom was looking at my step dad with a sparkle in her eyes. My brother sweetly held his wife and my sister and her hubby looked positively beaming. The lil' sis just glowed-I've honestly not see a prettier pregnant person. My special person had his arm around me and whispered sweet things. Love was in the air...later glasses were raised in the air and raised again and again.

Robyn and Blake

Happy Anniversary to my sister and her wonderful husband Blake. They make it look easy. In the last 17 years, I've never heard them say a cross word to each other except when Blake emptied the sand filter in the front yard. And that time he told her her breath smelled funny (in his defense, the engagement ring was where the breath mints were supposed to be). I hope the next 17 finds you just as much happiness.

It's a good day for

Yep, the song is still playing in my head and it is a beautiful day for a wedding. The sun is shining. The family is all in town (well...almost-we miss Beefy and the nugget Senior), the beer is on ice, and the meat is smoked by ol' McDonald himself. So we're hopping in the trucks, flipflops and jeans on ready to celebrate. Fat Bastard and Angry Bitch are guests of honor and we'll enjoy their presence this time.

Wedding Song

Tomorrow is the big day for my dad and his wonderful girlfriend. Yep, that's right. Dad's gettin' hitched and the only good wedding song I can think of is Billy Idol's-"It's a nice day for a White Wedding". For the love of god, give me another wedding song to sing inside my head.

September 11th

I thought I could just sign off and say nothing about today's date, but I don't have that much self restraint. I love this country and all it stands for, I know it's not perfect-most of the things I love aren't perfect. I miss the days immediately following 9-1-1 when everyone had a flag on their car. I still place my hand over my heart when the national anthem is sung. I vote every year. I think policemen and firemen have a special calling like nuns and priests. I've seen half a dozen foreign countries and was still glad when the plane landed on US soil. "God Bless the USA" , the soldiers, the nuns, the priests, the police, the firemen, the 2000 plus that died that day-may history never repeat itself. "Let's Roll"

New Orleans in review

I feel really embarrassed about reading my sister's blog and the nutritional fresh foods she has eaten after my trip to New Orleans. You see my trip was for work and after work was just to reward myself for being there. I ate a poor boy from Johnny's that would set your mouth on fire. I ate shrimp ducky over wild rice(just what it sounds like shrimp and duck cooked in a burgundy), ate pralines, ate cheesecake with praline sauce, ate more shrimp that I thought possible, and strolled down the French Quarter with an ice cold beer in my hands(there were several people doing this ie when in Rome do as the Romans). It's a wonderful old city- rich in history and calories. Viva le beignets.

The Big Easy

Blogging to you from the Big Easy-know why they call it the "Big Easy?" Because if you don't take it easy the humidity will kill you dead. Off to find the Adult snow cones.

Survey

FedEx asked its employees to take a survey. It asked me if I wanted to take the damn thing in English, French, or Spanish. Do my responses count more if I take the survey three times-once in each language? Will they be impressed that some hick from Ar decided to take the survey in French? Oui? Asta la vista.

Another Country song

Just turn to a country radio station and you'll probably hear the story of my life in a matter of seconds.There's one that says "This learning to live again is killing me" and it is. Starting over is supposed to be fun and exciting,but it means I have to learn how to do things all over again. Like trust. I've met a very wonderful man and yet I have to remind myself he is not one of my kids for me to worry over. He's not anyone I've ever dealt with before and I have to treat him as such. Wish me luck.

Winnie the Pooh

A wise old bear once told his dear friend-" If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you."

Pictures

Ok so the whole picture thing was a bust. We did take a metal detector out and found some change-maybe enough to pay for some frozen cokes at the local shell, but it was fun and so was the party we went to on Sunday night. Met with some old friends at their new house and visited a little while. Watched Harold and Kumar escape from Guatenomo Bay (yeah that is totally spelled wrong) and "The Secret" with David D. from the Xfiles-not that hollywood headlines from the local radio station is the greatest source of reliable information, but David D. is supposedly in rehab for sex addition. I love three day weekends. My house is clean. The bills are paid.The laundry is done.

Wish me luck

Today is all about pictures. Trying to get some that I can post for you to see. Let me just say the dog is not happy with the sombero. I think Hillbilly is afraid of the camera too.

Sassafras

Most people are really getting excited about a three day weekend. Me? I'm excited because my hillbilly is bringing me some sassafras roots-the best thing known to exterminate killer cramps.What can I say? I walk on the wild side.

That's my Girl

I was a little bit worried about Lauren going to school with boys and how she would handle them. Our conversation went something like this.
Me: Hey, did you have any problems today?
Lauren: There was this one boy that whistled and made a comment about my body.
Me: What'd you do?
Lauren: I flipped him off.
Me: Oh, what did he do then?
Lauren: When I saw him again he asked why I did that.
Me: And?
Lauren: I told him no one talks that way to me. I don't like it.
Me(smiling at this point): What happened next?
Lauren: He apologized.
That's my girl.

FedEx

Honestly, can't say that I LOVE my job, but I'm proud to work for a company that will spend thousands of dollars to help out one of their own...that's why I'm blogging to you from Ft. Meyers (Florida).Yours truly is part of the Hurricane Faye team and we've got it under control-please don't send me Fedex horror stories at this time. I'm in a strange city with outdated maps delivering as fast as I can. The cell phone towers are iffy.Have I been lost? Most certainly, but I've seen a great deal of the city and the sun will come out tomorrow.

Bauxite Miner

Today, Lauren drove herself to school-I know she did-I had her call when she left the house and again when she got to school. She arrived safely though pissed at her mother for treating her like such a baby. I'm sure she looked great-she'd tried on enough outfits to find the perfect one, but it's not easy starting over. My heart goes out to her even though she's really looking forward to making new friends and going to school with boys. I'm sure she'll do great-there's nothing she's not good at and meeting new people has always been easy for her. The school colors are black and white...nothing exciting there.

It's notta brick house

I've been up since 3 am and haven't found a picture to post of my house. You see today may be the last day I can call it my house. The final divorce hearing is today. I realize it's nothing but wood and sheet rock, but it's where I've lived for 13 years. The longest I've lived anywhere except the house in which I grew up in.Those out of control Crepe Myrtles by the driveway-I planted all three of them. One to symbolize each child. The daffodils by the road-the kids help me transplant 20 or so each year-I think I even conned a niece or two to help with them. I don't like the color pink-I never have, but my bedroom has grown on me(scary what pink can do). Aqua, never has-I think Beth chose that color so I would stay out of her room. It's just a little square house. Nothing special about it except the memories I have here. There's the time Lauren's room was totally themed with the "Lion King", Paul's 5th Birthday party-No one rsvp'd and 30 kids showed up(my first hint that children's parties can get out of hand), Beth's bunkin' parties (further proof that parties got out of hand), there's snowball fights and snowmen in the front yard, Paul's firetruck bed, the kids hiding the fake Christmas tree in the attic so we would have to buy a real one, pictures in front of the fireplace, the iguana climbing in the fireplace when we lost heat one winter....I wouldn't change one second not even to avoid my crucifiction in front of the judge. Give it your best shot Mike, it's the last chance you'll ever have. There's nothing else you can take.

Discovery 56

I love yard sales. Early Saturday, me and a special friend started out Hwy 64 near Clarksville and made it almost to Russelville and I got to go to enough yard sales. I was happy with 56. The sales stretched from Beebee to Ft. Smith-a mere one hundred and sixty miles. Arkansas Calendar of events usually posts the sale-when it starts and such. And there were many,many more to be had, but I just couldn't climb in and out of the truck one more time. Next year, more sleep, a little bit more money(there was a fantastic deal on a horse and trailer that I had to turn down), and maybe a step ladder for the truck. The truck is a must. You should see the bargains-they wouldn't have fit it the car. Next year I won't quit til I break 100 or the truck is full which ever comes first. My friend, consider yourself warned.

Happy Birthday Little Sis

Hope your birthday is a good one.

For the Women

1. Don't imagine you change a man unless he's in diapers.
2. Never let your man's mind wander-it's too little to be out alone.
3.Women don't make fools of men-most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
4. Best way to make a man do something-suggest that he's too old to do it.
5. The children of Israel wandered around in the desert for 40 years-even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
6. If he asks what kind of books you're interested in, tell him check books.

The Airport

So I'm with a Fedex driver making a delivery to the airport today, and what do I see? At the security check point, there was an elderly couple passionately kissing goodbye. Not a slobbery or porn star kiss-just a kiss that really said that they loved each other. Everyone should get a kiss like that.Then, I saw a beautiful woman with her ticket in her hand walking to the gate-steadily wiping tears off her face. I don't know if she was sad to go or happy to go somewhere, but I'm glad I'm not the only one that can't control my tears at the airport. I cry when Beth comes home. I cry when Paul leaves for Guatemala. I cry when Lauren leaves for New York. I cry every single time Beth leaves and I think I almost made it without my face turning red the last time....there were no
Army people at the airport today, but that didn't keep me from looking real hard.

Buffalo River

Last weekend I took a canoeing trip from Hasty to Carver on the Buffalo River. I loved it. Every time I float the Buffalo, I am awed by the beauty of Arkansas-it's not just the cool water or the majestic bluffs. It's the turtles, perch, bass, frogs, butterflies, and birds too. As a family, we used to float from Baker's Ford to Gilbert and it's a great trip too.Everybody needs to do it at least once. A few years back there was a colony of mink running along the shore-the kids all had a good laugh saying there goes Mom's coat. Try it.

Summer time rituals

Do you have something that you do every summer? Something that makes summer complete?
I have several:
You gotta eat cucumber salad
you gotta catch lightin bugs (and if you're gross smear the glowy stuff on you or your sister)
gotta watch falling stars
gotta eat blackberries until your tongue turns color
gotta experience chiggers(I could really do without this one)
eat massive amounts of watermelon
fish
throw rocks at water snakes
read a good book until the sun comes up
and count the days til Christmas-only 5 more months. Feliz Navidad.

What I'm reading

I'm reading "The Pact" by Jodi Piccoult. It explores a lot of relationships with the deepest emphasis on how well can you really know anyone. The book revolves around teenage suicide and what the parents go through. While it is very interesting, I don't think Jodi can top "Mercy". "Mercy" explores love and how much one person can love...specifically, where do you draw the line.Would you lie for someone you love? Would you compromise your morals? Would you kill?She does a great job of exploring feelings from every angle. I don't think I've ever read anything by her that wasn't great.

Only ten more days Little Sister

Being the oldest has it perks, I remember my sisters as infants. My youngest sister was very good at subtraction at a very early age. Starting around the age of three, she would tell everyone on Independence Day that there were only 27 days until her birthday and every day after that. I think the entire family anticipated her birthday just to satisfy the muchkin.Here ye, here ye-only ten more days until Lee's birthday.

Palm reader

So I went to a palm reader yesterday, and she told me I would come into some money. I wonder if she ever looked at someone and said you'll be dirt poor-get a second job. Anyway, the gas station has a machine that pushes quarter foward and out the slot(if you're lucky) so I put my three quarters in and got twelve back-this was my lucky day! Only wish there were enough quarters to pay for the palm reading itself.Oh well, she has a candle lit for me too.

Over or Under

Do you put your toilett paper where it goes over or under? If you're an over person like me don't tel Mel-o-drama.

Perserverance

Perserverance is commitment, hard work,patience, and endurance. It is the ability to bear difficulties calmly without complaint. And it makes a pretty awesome tattoo-girlfriend so glad it's not on your boobs!!

World Series-Go Bombers!!!

Best of luck to the Arkansas Bombers this week.They are a fantastic 16 and under fast pitch team out of Bryant.They are playing in Panama City, Florida. The pitcher is "Bubbles"aka number 17 and one very dear to my heart. I keep humming "Take me out to the Ball Game, Put me in Coach(can't exactly remember the title), and We are the Champions.

Austin

I love to look at this building.

12 Makes a dozen

So I took the boyfriend to meet the baby sister and I warned him that she loves dogs.All dogs-no matter how ugly or how many health problems that they may have-it just gives her one more reason to love them. In this warning, I told him that she always has at least six dogs. This weekend she had eleven. Only three were puppies (have to admit some of the cutest damn puppies I've ever seen). No one growled(boyfriend included)and everyone had a good time. Only there was one stray dog and no buses running that late at night so I hope Stinkydog was buried in work so she couldn't look for him today.

Anticipation of the 4th

It's almost time to celebrate America's birthday. I love the fireworks, the cookouts, the watermelon, and even the heat-especially getting in the water to get away from the heat. I love getting together with family and friends, but since July 2001 my fourth has a dark cloud hanging over it. That was the last day that Sarah was alive-she was killed by a drunk driver sometime around midnight. No matter what I do-she always crosses my mind. So I won't tell you not to drink-just drink responsibly and take it one step further. If you see some else that celebrated just a little too much, ask him/her not to drive. I know that's not easy but we're the home of the brave.Just one more cross on the side of the road is one more too many.

Typical morning?

So I start moving a little bit early and throw some clothes in the dryer. Dryer makes a funny noise. I open the dryer door and cannot find the source of the noise. Then I get ready to leave for work and cannot find my keys. Found the source of the weird noise. Note to self: take keys out of pocket before washing pants.

Weekend

So how was your weekend? Did you do anything fun or exciting? I drank some homemade rootbeer(too yummy for words) and ate alligator on a stick. Let me just say..it does not taste like chicken.

A Serious Question

So I get this message on my phone to "go back where I fucking belong" and I wonder where do you think I belong? Do I need to be where my mom is? Where my dad is? I have one kid in California and one in North west Arkansas and one in Little Rock. Maybe I could jet around between the three of them. Maybe I could be with my sis in Austin or my favorite Aunt in Florida.Gee.. What do I do? Wait a minute the key word there was "I" -as in "I" will do what I want to do any damn time I please.I'm not breaking any laws and I don't need anyone's permission to live my life as I see fit. I will go any friggin place that I want to go.

Wooo Pig Soooeee

My son is a registered Razorback now. I've grown up calling the hogs at basketball, football, and various parties but nothing prepared me for calling the hogs in Fayetteville at the University. Its like nothing you've ever seen. No one does anything else. No one moves. If someone is praying, I bet that person stops mid-prayer to join in. God bless them hawgs and the boys in Humphrey Hall.

Warning to all Moms out there

Kids grow up.They leave home and just because you've let one leave doesn't mean the second won't rip your heart out just as much as the first one did.You'd think it would be easier the second time around. It isn't.Half of my tears are because I know I will miss them more than words can say and the other half is for pure joy because I know that they are following their own dreams. Do you remember the song by Jiminy Cricket? A dream is a wish that your heart makes...so I'll dry my tears and I promise not to squish any crickets.

Why I love Butterfly weed

I love butterfly weed because if you hang around it long enough you can take pictures like this.Lots of beautiful butterflies and lots to see.

Butterfly Weed

Butterfly weed is orange and is blooming in the woods now. Does anyone know how to transplant it?

Goggle-eye

The fish that seems to be the largest is a goggle-eye. I caught one of these too.

Trout

This is me with a trout-I caught one this year for the very first time.

Wednesday blues

Am I the only person that gets the blues on Wednesdays? Not as busy as Monday, Not as productive as Tuesday, and just not close enought to Friday.Thankfully Soldiergirl called and brightened my day-Thanks.

By the way

By the way, just want to welcome my first born into the world of blogging.
www.farawaysoldiergirl.blogspot.com

What I'm not doing this weekend

Can't really say what I have planned for this weekend but I will NOT be mowing grass or cleaning house. I will not watch anything educational. I will not pay any bills or read anything to improve myself financially. I won't be grocery shopping. I won't be going to the ball field or to the bank. I might paint my toenails or talk someone else into doing it for me.

God Speed Private Stringer

Today Private Kent Stringer arrives at Ft.Liberty in Bagdad. While I've known him less than a year, I enjoy hearing him laugh and talk. He's one of the kids that you want your own to hang around-very polite, hardworking, and proud to be an American soldier. I won't argue politics with you,but I won't hesitate to ask you for a favor...Please take time out to pray that this young man and thousands just like him come home quickly and safely. God Speed-Kent.

Not my litttle boy, Always my son

Happy 18th Birthday Paul. He came into the world at 8:20 in the morning. At 18 months, he took apart an outlet and told me it would bite. At 4, he was a daredevil on a bike. At 5, he could pick his weight in peaches. I miss this little boy that would wash his bicycle and tonka trucks.Now, he works 40 hours a week.He changes his own oil. I'll never forget watching him swim a mile or rapel a couple hundred feet or help feed orphans or go to Governor's school.Paul, baby, I'm so glad you've shared so much of your life.Have a happy birthday.

Thought for the day

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain.

You might be a red neck if

Being from Arkansas, I thought I had seen all of the "Red neck" jokes, but someone sent some I hadn't seen (and one that's just classical) so you might be a red neck if
The Blue Book Value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
You've been married 3 times and still have the same in-laws.
Someone in your family died after saying "Hey, ya'll watch this"
You lit a match and blew your house right off its wheels.
You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
and the classic-
You think the last words of the"Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines"

Happy 23rd Anniversary Mike

Today Mike and I have been married for 23 years in spite of the fact that I filed for divorce a million years ago-Dec.17th. At one time, we calmly decided that we could never make each other happy and that is was best that we go our separate ways. We both said this and meant it. We weren't screaming or yelling and the lawyers were nowhere in sight. It wasn't said in anger or hate, and we agreed that this was the best thing to do. With so many, many disagreements-this was the one that we agreed on.Divorce is hell-pure and simple hell. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.And no matter how hard it is, I share the blame because I agreed that it is over. I won't pay for this one mistake for the rest of my life. Enjoy your life.Enjoy your future. My life is mine now.

Job Perk

Every morning when I go to work, I cross the 440 bridge. Today when I looked across the Arkansas River the sun was just coming up really good and shone across the water. It was really a beautiful sight-of course, this sight is much prettier on a Friday than a Monday.

Smells...

This weekend is also the Greek Food Festival in Little Rock. I love the smell of meat cooking-we're not just talking hamburgers here. I love the Baklava, and I love not finding a really skinny belly dancer after ingesting the meat and Baklava.

Saturday, May 17th

I know it's not time to tell you what I'm doing this weekend, but Chalupa and I are very excited about C.A.R.E.'s annual Paws on the Pavement.Check it out and come if you can!
www.careforanimals.org

Mother's Day Shopping...for Mom

The day before Mother's Day and I need to go shopping. It's not that I don't think about this before hand, but that I'm having trouble finding just the right gift.My sisters will call and ask what I'm getting mom but in their minds they've already figured out the perfect considerate gift that mom will totally love.They're incredible at this-both of them.I think I missed out on that gene.I've come up with a hundred ideas and tossed everyone.
I want something that says I'm glad you're my mom, I'm glad you're still here, I appreciate all that you do for me AND my kids.
Speaking of kids, I think a lot about being a mother at this time of year. This year it's been a little depressing-my kids are so grown up...the only thing that they need me for is gas money.They really take care of themselves and it seems like they live their own lives.Don't get me wrong-I'm proud that they're adults and that they can take care of themselves...kinda the whole idea of parenting, but I miss my babies. Then I wonder if MY mom feels the same way.
So mom-I will always need you.
I don't ever want to imagine my life without you. Somewhere along the line, I stopped loving you for wiping my nose and started loving you for the friend that you are. You've always been there for me even before I had the brains to ask.You've always supported my decisions-even the ones that you didn't go for yourself(remember the whole breastfeeding).Mom would call me to remind me how many bottles I had in the refrigerator so she could keep my kids without any problems. I can't tell you the times we've laughed over something stupid or just cried together(I get the crying gene from her). I don't call her everyday-I should. I don't tell her I love her enough, but I love her with a fierceness that can't be explained with any words.Now to find the gift that says that....wish me luck.

What the h-e-double hockey sticks

Last night coming home from a softball game, I passed gas stations (no the "S" is not a mistake) that had gas for $3.35 a gallon. Several stations...so my mood was improving. This morning the gas station across the street said $3.65 and so does every station I have seen today. What happened in the five hours that I slept that made gas go up thirty cents a gallon? Now I'm pretty tired, but I really don't want to take a nap.

Aunts-the Antique version

In case you're from another planet, Mother's Day is this Sunday. I've always loved this holiday just because it reminds me not to take my mother for granted.When I was growing up, people at church would wear white roses if their mother was already gone. So it's a special day-and I know we have a lot of holidays-but what about one for Aunts?
When I was growing up, My favorite Aunt was my great-great Aunt Elsie. I didn't get to spend a lot of time with her-she lived several states away. She wasn't rich in material goods, and I don't think she ever remembered my birthday.BUT I knew her voice instantly on the phone. She always wanted to hear what a child had to say-and now that I understand "fixed"incomes -I wonder how she mananged to afford all of those calls. She sent boxes of surprises for no reason at all. She wrote letters when she took a notion and even to time to send a separate note inside for the kids. I miss her voice, the stories about her (she took care of old people when she was 80), and just knowing that I might get a chance to see her.She wasn't my mom but I think about her especially in May. My condolences go out to the Schuller Family for losing one of their own special Aunts-rest in peace Zella.

Just in case

Just in case you're up late tonight or early in the morning-there's a meteor shower. Something to do with Eta Aquarids. So enjoy...the next one isn't due until August.

Mom's favorite

This is the last one today and my favorite so far.

more of cute couple

A real computer geek could probably post three or four pictures on one blog, but it took me a week to post these so I'll just take it one step at a time. Just enjoy the picture and see how cute my son is.

Prom

So is this just the cutest couple? This is Paul Schuller and Jee Young Kim at the Old Mill before Central High's Senior Prom on April 26, 2008.

Bucket List

If you haven't seen the movie called "The Bucket List". I strongly recommend it. One of the reasons I went to see the movie was because so many different people recommended it-didn't matter about age, race, sex-everyone pretty much recommended this movie. It explores life and how to live it. Gives you plenty to think about. The main characters make a list of things to do before they kick the bucket-so do you have a bucket list? Things that you really want to do before you die? Mine keeps changing as I cross things off but today ...
1. take a cruise
2. see all three of my kids in college
3. take a hot air balloon ride
4. see the Grand Canyon
5.Have my passport stamped several times

Salem

Salem was Lauren's cat. She got him from a friend when he was very small and wild. It took about a week of him being locked in her room for him to come around. Come around he did. He followed Lauren every where and played for hours with the dog. The dog would chase the cat and the cat would chase the dog. Sometimes, for no reason at all, the cat would jump on the dog. Unfortunately, someone shot the cat last night. I wished the coward could have aimed a little better-the cat wondered home and suffered. Lauren suffered too. Paul, the man of the house, didn't look real chipper dealing with the whole situation either. I don't understand being mean to animals.

Natural Highs

A friend of mine sent me an email today that listed 44 natural highs-they were really good, but every person has their own-so I'll send you mine and you send me yours. By the way, I like the number 13 better than 44.
1. A hot bath
2. listening to the rain fall while you're in bed
3. carrot cake with cream cheese icing
4. a cup of coffee with a friend
5. someone giving you flowers-especially hand picked
6.laughing with someone you love over a really stupid joke
7.watching your children grow
8.singing songs with a good buddy at the top of your lungs-"Honey, turn the lights down low...."
9.watching falling stars
10. slow dancing anywhere to any song, but Percy Sledge's "When a man loves a woman" is the ultimate
11. having my dog jump into my arms, just because I'm home
12. breakfast in bed-sorry, but it gets me every time
13.watching the sun come up over the Arkansas River

Mr. Straight get busy

George Strait sings a song that says he saw God today and what a miracle his baby girl is. I have some news for him. Every baby girl is a miracle. Then somebody sings about how he loved his little girl first and she'll always be his number one. Another song laments a daddy losing his "Cinderella". I love little girls-I have/had two-they're grown now. But where are the songs about boys?
We need one about how it feels to watch your son step foward and open your door without any prompting. We need one to say how proud a parent feels when your son works a forty hour week because his bosses call him because he's one of the best workers. How it feels to watch your son change his own oil on his vehicle(his jeep is in better shape than when he bought it). How about bringing home grades that are over the top-I don't think I could have made the grades he in the classes he has taken even without the after school job. How about when he goes to church with his friends on a Sunday morning(you know every Saturday is a late night when you're 17 or 18)?
Mr. Strait, people need a song about how it feels to watch your son grow from a cute, funny boy into a wonderful considerate man. If you need a name-Paul come to mind.

Peaceful Weekend

This weekend

I saw a pair of Monarch butterflies dancing
a Canadian goose swimming so close to me that I could touch him
an alligator snapping turtle
and a coyote so close that he stared at me as long as I stared at him.

I heard a bullfrog call very loudly
a rooster crow to start the day
and a mother/daughter duet that really rocked(o.k.they really sang "Momma he's
Crazy"-but you get the idea)

I felt the wind going through my hair and the sun on my face and I felt truly at peace. Thanks for a great weekend.

The box

Me: Sir, may I help you.

Sir: I need to get my package. It's a box.

Me: ok-let me get your address and I'll be right back.

Sir gives me address. Then I proceed to locate package.

Sir: Wait-it's a box. It's square.

Me: Thanks for the info. I'll be right back.

Just wondering when did boxes become anything other than square or rectangular?

P.S. It was brown too, but he didn't tell me that.

Go Belles!!!!

You can learn a lot at High School softball game. If you really think someone is better than you-you've already given her an edge. You should never ever give up. When you least expect it, a double play can literally fall into your lap. For example, the pitcher (my wonderful daughter) caught one air ball as it bounced off her leg and then threw someone out at second base. Wonderful to see all of her hard work and training being paid off. Then, these two guys were sitting next to me and one asked-"Hey, what would you do if your girlfriend hit one out of the park?"The boyfriend just kinda snickered. That girlfriend hit one over 200 feet-over the fence and out of the ballpark. Sometimes wonderful things just happen for reasons no one can explain, but just in case-I'm trying to talk Lauren's boyfriend into coming to the next game. I wished MSM would have won, but it was good game to watch. Sometimes you won't win, but you gotta play your best.

Basic English

If you have something in your mind-you are thinking not thanking.

You means you. If it belongs to you-then it's yours. For example, your arm or your foot. This should not be confused with the word you're. You can use you're in place of the words-you are. For example, you're doing better. Not your better.

If anyone is offended by this blog-just get off and don't read the damn thing.

April 15th

So I hope you got your taxes done and paid the devil. Seems like everyone has to pay the devil sooner or later. I guess I got mine. I got to listen to a judge lecture me on morality while my husband was holding hands with his lawyer. I wonder if she kisses all of her clients. Meanwhile, I wonder just how much shit is one person supposed to take. I've lost a marriage that I worked very hard for. I'm probably going to lose my house and people that don't even know me get to legally question everything I do. One of my husbands girlfriends said she would do everything she can to ruin my life and hats off to her. Between her and Mike they've done an excellent job. I'm still here to post this because Dwight Day said something that I really, really needed to hear.

What do you do?

What do you do when someone sends people emails supposedly from you that you know nothing about? Is it illegal? I know it's wrong and underhanded, but it's the world we live in. How would you stop it? Please let me know what you would do-and probably some things I should NOT do because that's usually what I do first.

Caution:Mom with camera

I've always enjoyed shoppin' for PROM dresses with my girls. Picking just the right dress has become an art and I enjoy every minute of it-especially when the perfect dress is found. Now, it's my son's turn. We won't be trying on several outfits unfortunately. It seems to be pretty cut and dried-Just a black tux-no, he doesn't want tails or a top hat. School policy prohibits a limo so now we're down to just ordering the flowers-we both agree on roses. He thinks white is best-I'm leaning towards red (her gown is Black and White). Then, dinner reservations...and the big talk about curfew.There is no option on pictures. I will not be denied pictures. I wonder if the school will let me sneak in and snap a few of them dancing together?? She is a beautiful girl and my son is incredibly gorgeous so I'm thinking one or two disposables with one back up digital ought to get it.If the school officials won't let me in-the restaurant will.Only 20 more days.Say "Cheese"Paul and Jee.

Baby Girl

So she doesn't really look like a baby-but she's my baby.
She recently made me a screen saver with this
picture and some beautiful blue roses. I know the
picture isn't centered. I know she isn't smiling. I know the picture is in black and white. It's kinda off centered, deep, and beautiful...just like her. Here's hoping that the sun comes out and the next expression on her face is a smile. Thanks for the screen saver Lauren.

California Dreamin'...

My oldest daughter, Beth, left for Monterey, California on Friday morning. It started raining just before her plane took off and hasn't quit for more than 2 hours since. It seems as if the temperature is dropping slowly too. I could have sworn that I heard hail hitting the roof last night. Beth assures me that it's cold in California too-the people coming out of the Pacific Ocean were wearing wet suits to go swimming. I asked her if she got near the water to test it for herself and she just laughed. She told me she watched the people enter and leave the water from a restaurant with a huge glass window. Apparently my girl was happy eating her clam chowder in the heated room watching people and sea lions enjoy the cold beach. Damn-even cold weather sounds better out there!

RASCAL FLATTS LYRICS - Every Day

RASCAL FLATTS LYRICS - Every Day: "'Every Day'

You could've bowed out gracefully
But you didn't
You knew enough to know
To leave well enough alone
But you wouldn't
I drive myself crazy
Tryin' to stay out of my own way
The messes that I make
But my secrets are so safe
The only one who gets me
Yeah, you get me
It's amazing to me

[CHORUS]
How every day
Every day, every day
You save my life

I come around all broken down and
Crowded out
And you're comfort
Sometimes the place I go
Is so deep and dark and desperate
I don't know, I don't know

[Repeat Chorus]

Sometimes I swear, I don't know if
I'm comin' or goin'
But you always say something
Without even knowin'
That I'm hangin' on to your words
With all of my might and it's alright
Yeah, I'm alright for one more night-
Every day
Every day, every day, every day
Every day, every day
You save me, you save me, oh, oh, oh
Every day
Every, every, every day-

Every day you save my life"

Chickens

Did you know that most chickens only produce one egg a day? That the eggs are warm to the touch? How about the fact that chickens eat almost anything-including egg shells? This makes me think that there is more to the chicken than meets the eye. Don't regret all those stupid chicken jokes though.

Just a song

I've had several people call to wish me a Happy Birthday-and it truly amazes me that people take time out of their busy lives to give me this gesture of kindness. I appreciate each and every gesture. My soon to be Ex-mother-in-law was one of those people. Now she is not a spring chicken and not known for her musical talents, but she sang the entire birthday song to my answering machine-I missed the actual call being at work.Just hearing her sing makes me and most of her daughters laugh. Hearing the song on the machine made me laugh too, but not knowing what the future holds only made me cry. She has been an important part of my life for over 22 years and now I can't even sit and have a cup of coffee with her. I don't know when I can see her again or if she even knows how much I love her. I could sit and cry some more about it, but God always takes care of me. I think she told me that. It was either her or my own wonderful mother. How nice to have had them both for so long. Thanks for the memories and for making me smile so much, and yes I had a very wonderful birthday.

Sweet 16 for Lauren

Ok. I know its late, but Lauren this is for you.

16 reasons I admire you:

1. You can cook anything in the microwave.
2. There's nothing physical that you can't do-dance, play ball, run long distances..
3. You can sing the words to any rap song and then turn right around and sing old school country.
4. You can make friends with anyone at anytime.
5. You aren't afraid to let people know that you don't like them.
6. You aren't afraid to let people know when you really care either.
7. You have your own sense of style and it looks good.
8. You are truly a "Redneck woman" that Gretchen would be proud of.
9. Your poetry inspires me.
10. Your songs amaze and touch me.
11. I love to watch you pitch (and sometimes hit people).
12. You are a good friend to have.
13. You are pretty inside and out.
14. You are good with animals.
15. You give good hugs.
16. You make your mother proud.

Apologies

My apologies to anyone that has read some negative comments posted. You may not even know me or my husband, but some of you will be cheering on the divorce just on principle. Again I apologize for behavor that I can't control.

Things I've learned from Divorce

1. I can unstop the toilet by myself (I've managed to avoid doing this for over 22 years).

2.Either my ex was extremely messy or my children have started cleaning up after themselves(while I believe it's the first-I'm hoping it's the second)

3. I can learn mechanical things about the house pretty quickly-which breaker goes to what lights and such.

4. I don't need as much money as I thought I did to get by-and that can be a good thing.

5. Nothing feels as good as being happy.

Need a check??????

That is a rhetorical question-not to be taken literally, but I'm having way too much fun writing Feb.29th on checks-I've tried to pay as many bills as I can and I think I crossed the line when I wrote a check for a snickers bar and coke. Only four more years to the next time! I haven't had this much fun since Friday the Thirteenth.

Just in case

Just in case, I have a near death experience-I don't care who gets notified other than my children. It's probably not a good idea to have my future ex and my boyfriend there at the same time. Please allow my kids to say good bye before you pull the plug and then do it. I don't want to be on machines for a long time. Donate all of my organs as you see fit. Ideally, I would like to be cremated, but I have three kids and if 2 of the 3 want me burried then so be it. I don't care what people do in a crisis situation. I KNOW my family loves me and that they are simply doing the best they can in a bad situation so I hope my family gives me the same leeway-I may not make the right decisions, I may not make the decisions that you would make but please know that I love each one of you more than simple words can say and that I am doing my best. I would like to say goodbye to each of my parents and all of my siblings-but I can't imagine anything more painful so I won't come back to haunt anyone if that doesn't get done. Siblings if you read this know that you are loved and always will be...

Screening process

I love the song that Kssn plays every week "Finally Friday"-it's a collection of sorts-touting the fact that it's finally Friday and everyone is ready for the weekend. I hope you and yours have a wonderful weekend. I'm going out to eat catfish Friday night with my mom and stepdad and the new boyfriend. If and only if this goes well, I might consider introducing him slowly to other members of the family. This sounds easy enough but my family can be a little intimidating-just given the sheer number of people involved, throw in spouses, add a couple of kids to each couple and you come up with a small army. A wonderful, loud army. No one has ever taught any of our little ones to be shy. There's nothing they won't say or do. They are small adults in children's bodies. I'm willing to bet my neices and nephews are preregistered to vote and can tell me what candidate I should vote for. And if anyone of them should think this guy is not worthy of me, I'll know within five minutes....gee wonder if I could get them to screen the boys Lauren and Beth date too.

Vote your way

Someone at work sent me this email to check out the site

www.votechooser.com

Turns out my favorite candidate is truly the one I should vote for. So try it for yourself.

Calling cards

So my lil' sis wants me to blog more...would be fine if I were in a decent mood but that's not the case so you'll have to blame the Birdrunner. Yesterday, I had the pleasure of working 15 hours-no that is not a typo-fifteen hours. Working was bad enough, but then I repeatedly had to make sure someone was picking up Lauren. Then she calls 20 times to make sure that someone is picking her up-did I mention that my cell phone minutes are being monitored? To top it all off I came home to a house that had been broken into. That sounds much, much worse than it is. Nothing that I know of was taken, but I HAD a beautiful bouquet of roses sitting in the middle of the kitchen table. Now those roses are shredded to bits. No note. Just a calling card of sorts. My call will be to my lawyer and those that are supposed to protect and serve.

Wondering?????

I'm wondering-how does a University president notify a parent that a child has been killed? Sorry, your child was in class too busy taking notes to dodge bulletts. Maybe he/she should have partied a little harder and just skipped class. My heart and prayers go out to the families and students that have lost someone. My continued prayers go out to those kids strong enough to be back in class. Higher education shouldn't come at such extreme costs.

Just Feelin' the Holiday

I love you without knowing how, or when or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride:
so I love you because I know no other way than this:
where I does not exist nor you
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep... Pablo Nerada, Love Sonnet xvii

God must be busy

Friday, I drove through the small town of Clinton. It's usually just a very small town-a Walmart, a KFC, a Sonic, a really nice retirement village, and some nice country homes. But, this small little town looked like a war zone. I know the tornadoes went through Thursday, but the reports did not mention how serious the damage was to this small picturesque community. Huge trees and debris were every where. There were several cars overturned on the side of the street and in one large parking lot. Power lines were down everywhere and as I traveled slowly through I was glad AP & L had shut down at least one lane to tend to things. Fast foward to Sunday afternoon-on my trip home. I hear the song by Brooks and Dunne "God Must Be Busy" and I marvel at how much the town has changed in the space of 48 hours- A ton of debris has been cleared-there are still large trees to be cut up, but you can see all of the houses and their driveways-some of the powerlines are righted. The streets are cleared. All of the cars and trucks are righted. Some roofs are already being repaired. People are outside helping any way that they can. KFC is now back in business, and if God wasn't busy-the good people of the Natural State sure were.

For the weekend

So my little sis always posts some interesting things to do on the weekend-mine maybe not so interesting but plans nonetheless. First of all, I have completely lost my voice so lots of rest is part of the plan. I'm actually heading to Jasper, Ar to have a dear friend take care of me. I will also be learning how to make "JIG Heads". These are some kind of fishing thingys. I'm also planning on practicing casting because I will be going trout fishing before too long(something weird that I've always wanted to do). Rainbow trout are some of the most beautiful fish in the world-I have no idea if I can actually eat one or if this will be catch and release (which is a perfectly acceptable sport even in Arkansas).So fishy, fishy in the brook come and bite mommy's hook.

day one

I just read my sister's blog from back in January-she mentioned that she would like to read something from me. Kinda funny since I called to check on her little family yesterday. I actually didn't realize that she still had a blog, but was reading baby sister's blog and missing the days when I could catch up with both of them. They are actually very, very busy and people will find me very boring, but now they can keep up with me too. So Birdrunner and Stinkydog...let the blogging lessons begin.