Tuesday, August 17, 2021

The last lesson... a lesson in love

 My precious dog Dixie crossed the bridge. There have been lots of kind words and prayers sent my way and all of them have helped in some fashion, but the best came from Dixie herself.

Let me give you a little back ground on her passing. Every night the dogs go out to play before bed. It gives them a last chance to run off a little energy and helps them fall asleep. Sunday night's temperatures were in the low seventies so it was great weather to run and play. They played and played. There was a cool breeze blowing too so I had my bedroom window open. I listened to them run and play for a couple of hours. It was all horse play and something they've done hundreds of times. Then, I heard one of the dogs scream in pain and I ran outside. Four of them came running up to me and it took a second to realize that Dixie was the last one coming up to me. She was in pain and dragging both of her back legs. I immediately picked her up and looked for some kind of puncture mark and could find none. Dixie was upset, but seamed to calm down with her head on my shoulders and me swaddling her like a baby. Typical Dixie move. She loved to be held like a baby. I held her that way and looked for vets open in Harrison. There were none so I went to the internet and found the nearest Emergency Vet open. Springdale-two hours away. I gave Dixie to Dwight so I could change clothes. Dwight had no sleep and there was no way he could make it to Springdale with me(and I kinda needed him to keep an eye on the boys who were still visibly upset).  He couldn't find the source of her pain. So I nabbed Chris to go with me. I couldn't hold Dixie and maintain a good speed so Chris held her and calmed her down. We got to the ER and again Dixie was calm when I held her. 

She went with the vet and it wasn't long before they called me back to a room. There were no viable options. She let me hold Dixie and she snuggled up to me as they gave her something for pain. Then she looked long and hard into my eyes. When dogs do that they're communicating that they love you and accept you as part of their pack. It was such a deliberate stare that there's no room for misinterpretation. Dixie was telling me that she loved me. That she trusted me. So I had to do what was best for her and let her go. I know she heard me telling her that I loved her. I was saying that and petting her when I felt her last breath leave her little body. She trusted me to do the right thing, but damn that didn't make it any easier. She looked at me and put her little head on my chest. She let me know that it was ok.

Our pack is still here, but we're missing our alpha. Harley keeps sniffing where she's been and has a puzzled look on his face. Oscar cried the first night, but is doing a little better. Sampson and Midnight are confused. Dwight and I are taking it slow and giving ourselves a little time to heal, but Dixie will always be in our hearts. 

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