What to say????

When most of us were eating large portions of turkey, my baby couldn't swallow hers that well. It seems like reality is finally setting in for her-she knows her eighty-eight year old grandma won't live forever. She gets more and more proof of this each time she sees her. She's getting weaker and talks about her time being short and sometimes she just drifts off in midsentence. I know that nothing I can see can make this any easier for her.
I remember what it's like to watch Grandma fade away. At seventeen, my parents never lied and said that she would be ok. I just kept hoping that one day when I visited she would get out of bed and be the Grandma that I always knew her to be. That never happened.
She never saw me graduate-but she encouraged me in school. She didn't see me get married, but she taught me to use a curling iron.I have cards and letters that she wrote and one of her paintings on my wall, but when I passed a little old lady that wore the same perfume in the grocery store-I got chill bumps and kept looking around. Soon it will be thirty years since my Grandma passed away.
It's easy to get depressed thinking about everything that she missed-but to Lauren-I'd like to say concentrate on everything you've gotten to do with her. She's seen you play basketball and softball. She saw your in your prom dress and on graduation night. She knows you've gone on to college. You've shared so many jokes and stories. She loves you-very, very much-and her going some place else won't change that. I know.

Thanksgiving

I admire all of those people that can post something that they're thankful for-every day in November-and not miss a day-and not get behind-me-ahh, I'm not one of them. I'm not that organized-so I'll give you 22-right up til the big day itself.
1. I'm thankful for my Mom-November 1 st will always be her day.
2.My neice Monica-she keeps me laughing with posts of her kids.
3.My family as a whole-what a bunch-I'd love them even if we weren't blood
4.My husband-he constantly amazes me with his thoughtfulness
5.My horse(sorry I still love that animal)
6.the ability to climb on that horse-not so easy when you're short, chubby,and old
7.the ability to bounce when I fall off that lovable animal
8.the ability to worship as I see fit-I do a lot of praying, but not in a church.. it's more in God's country
9.the right to bear arms-this has become extremely important to me-and it's a right I'm afraid of losing
10. I heard my nephew say my name
11. that my neices and nephews are really cool kids-and they're good too
12. My grandson because he was born on the 12th of November-
13. the sights I have seen this year-the Devils Tower, Old faithful. Artist's Point, the upper and lower falls, the Grand Tetons, Mount Rushmore, the Badlands, Crazy horse memorial
14. good cameras
15.the rv
16.dog shelters-the work they do and they joy they bring
17. good food
18. good health
19.my yaris
20. the future and all it's possibilities
21. the past and all the wonderful memories
22.the time I have

Biscuit

Biscuit is the newest addition to the farm. He's seen here four wheelin' with Dwight. He came from a rescue group in Midway. I don't know his story-but he cowers when some one yells. He loves to be outside-doing anything. He loves to eat-especially biscuits(go figure). He will eventually sit in your lap with some coaxing-everyone but Dwight. He has no choice-the dog will sit in his lap if he sits down for any length of time. Biscuit has many talents but facebooking is not one of them. When he gets ready to turn in for the night, he climbs in his crate-how cool is that?

I didn't cry...

I didn't cry but my eyes got as misty as they possibly could-and I held my Grandson for the very first time. You know that rush of love you feel when you hold your own child for the first time? That feeling comes back with such a force. It surprises you and catches you off guard. I don't know what I was expecting-but not this much-all at once.
He reminded me of Beth-because she was my first-and Xander has just a little touch of jaundice-that hint of tanning bed color-has always reminded me of that time. A little sunshine will clear it right up.
Of course, he being male was bound to remind me of my own son-but that's where the resemblence ended.Paul was a big baby-and Xander just barely weighed 7 pounds. Plus Xander looks so much like Heath-we tease him and say he has his "mini-me"
Like Lauren, Xander is doing things way ahead of time-he follows people's voices with his eyes and seems to be really good at holding his head up already.
I think the biggest reason I was reminded of my kids were his parents. The love they have for this baby just beams from them. They are totally and completely in love with him-just the way I am-and the way it should be.
I wish every child had this kind of start-to have this much love surround him or her from day one.

For You-Keith Urban(Official Music Video) for Veterans

Well, all I saw was smoke and fire...
I didn't feel a thing.
But suddenly I was rising higher...
And I felt like I just made... the biggest mistake.
When I thought about my unborn child...
When I thought about my wife...
And the answer rang out CLEAR from somewhere up above

No greater gift has man, then to lay down his life for Love.

And I wondered, would I give my life?
Could I make that sacrifice?
If it came down to it, could I take the bullet... I would
Yes I would, For You

Baby, you don't understand... I don't understand it all myself.
But there's a Brother on my left and another on my right
And in his pocket just like mine... he's got a photograph.
And they're waitin' for him back home.
(From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/k/keith-urban-lyrics/for-you-lyrics.html)

And it's weighing on my mind...
I'm not trying to be the hero... I don't wanna to die...
But right now, in this moment, you don't think twice.

I wondered, would I give my life?
Could I make that sacrifice?
If it came down to it, could I take the bullet... I would
Yes I would...

You don't think about right.
You don't think about wrong.
You just do what you gotta do... to defend your own.
And I'd do the same... for you, yes I would... yes I would.

And I would give my life... I would make that sacrifice.
Cause if it came down to it, could I take the bullet, I would.
Yes, I would, I'd do it for you... I'd do it for you.
I'd take the bullet, yea, Yes I would.

Empty Nest

It seems like our little nest will be expanding soon. I thought I'd cave before Dwight but no-it's hit him hard. Chalupa left a big spot to fill... and while I love certain pure breed dogs-I really can't say no to some of the dogs that Dwight has shown me. He's been scouring shelters in Missouri and Arkansas to find the perfect addition to our family. There was a bassett named Roger in Rogers(go figure) that got adopted this morning that might have joined us. We've got emails out for a dog named "Biscuit" in Midway-just looking at him melts my heart and there's a wonderful dachsund named "Cookie" that loves to chase squirrels. She's orange and would give our granddog Loki a run for his money.
I was thinking of getting a gecko-small, quiet animal-but Dwight says they're not good snugglers.
So wish us luck in our search and encourage others to adopt from shelters if they can. There are so many good,sweet dogs available it's scary. So much love to give.

Uploading pictures

So I've been uploading pictures and trying (unsuccessfully) to organize them. I guess it's a good thing to have so much fun that you can't find time to sit and organize memories, but before I forget I have to post a picture of my Dahlia. The first one I ever had to bloom and it ended up blooming three times before the frost got it.