February 14th. The day to celebrate love. I knew I'd be in Little Rock today so I celebrated a little bit early. It was a warm beautiful day and I went to the cemetery. I put roses on his grave and I sat down and talked to my husband. I talked for a long time and I sat on the ground absorbing the sun's rays and I let my heart say things that my mouth couldn't. I left with a peace that doesn't come easy or often. I'll always miss him.
We got our first snow this year with some bitter cold. Single digits without the wind chill factored in. The dogs, even the long haired ones, were not fans. Honey cried when her feet got too cold.
I don't care if I'm coming home from the beach, Springfield, Little Rock, or some other location, once I get about thirty miles out my foot is a little bit heavier on the accelerator. Once I cross that Newton County line my breathing gets a little bit calmer and a peace settles over my heart. I know my subconscious is secretly hoping I'll walk in the door and I'll be wrapped in a bear hug like so many times before, but I'll walk in and find five wiggle butts. They'll all be at the door wagging their tails so hard it's almost impossible to imagine their backsides are attached to their front paws. Then they'll start jumping and whining and I'll have to bend down to give pats then the kisses start. All five at once. Lots of kisses and I'll have to smile. I don't know if the smile is for me or them, but it's a good reminder that home is where love is and it comes in so many forms.
Do you make New Year's resolutions? I do and most of the time they change. I'd like to think it's because I'm changing definitely getting older and hopefully wiser. This year instead of just losing weight, the goal is to be healthier. Instead of being at the beach for one month, it's to be at the beach a minimum of 30 days-already claimed four. I want to learn something new every month and so far I've learned to unlock my phone screen, delete apps, and rearrange the apps on my screen. I've down loaded the Circle K App so it would be in my best interest to learn how to use it. That should put me up to April or so but I think I'll keep trying.I want to cook something new each month so I'll post it here to remind myself. I went to Pensacola Beach for the first time so maybe I should visit 11 more new places too. Sounds doable.
I can't believe this year is almost over. What an exciting year. I spent a month at the beach, not consecutive days but a month with my sisters, my son, and some dear friends. I revisited Colorado and made new memories there. I saw my youngest daughter become engaged and my grand daughter take her first steps. My youngest grandson can say granny now. I worked a balloon crew in Albuquerque at the Balloon Fiesta. I traveled by myself and took some pretty great road trips with my youngest daughter Lauren. I took two great train rides. I celebrated my sixtyth birthday and retired. My greatest accomplishment? Getting through the year. Learning how to live and have a life without my best friend. Knowing when to let myself just cry and miss him and letting myself laugh and learn because he would want me to. I made some of my dreams come true and next year is a whole new slate.
Dear Santa,
You can skip my house this year. I have everything I need and more than I deserve. I've already been given the best gifts and they didn't need to be unwrapped. I had a sick grandchild reach for me and find comfort in my arms. Later, he got better and graced me with hugs. His brother runs to greet me and gets upset when I have to go home. I heard another toddler belt out jingle bells at the top of his voice and later tell me slow down so he could get a better look at baby Jesus . I have a grand daughter that talks to me. I have no idea what she's saying most of the time, but it sounds really important. She walks to me and is happy just holding my hand. I know that I am loved and needed. We've made so many good memories. Thank you Santa. Thank you Jesus.
I know we're past the month of November. There was so much going on. The girl's trip to Nashville in the most perfect house beside a river. Hunting with Nick. Lunch with Mike, Kate, Dad, and Karon. Thanksgiving Sunday. Glow wild at the zoo. The return of the trumpeter Swans. Black Friday shopping with my friend Kelly.
