Like thousands of rednecks across Arkansaw, I donned my camo and orange hours before daylight. I was in my deer blind watching the sun come up. It's pretty awesome to watch the steam come off the ground and listen to acorns crash down. But sitting there for awhile, some strange thoughts come to mind:
1. If a bear comes, I'm playing dead. I hope someone finds me before I have a heart attack or the bear eats me. Dwight shot a bear climbing his deer stand. If a bear is dumb enough to climb a deer stand-it stands to reason, he would investigate a deer blind. Don't try and tell me he shot the last bear in Newton County.I've seen the shat. If there's bear shat, there's another bear around.
2. According to Dr. Oz on Oprah, the average person passes gas fourteen times a day. Did someone count? Can you imagine-hey, what do you do for a living? I count farts. Your mother must be so proud.
3. Does scent blocker kill the smell of a fart?
4. How do I know it was scent blocker sprayed all over these clothes and not doe urine? Can an inexperienced person tell the difference? If that man sprayed doe urine on the clothes that I'm wearing-he better plan on sleeping in the woods tonight.
5. Why was he so restless last night? He's killed thousands or hundreds of deer. Was he worried about me getting lost? Aww....Seriously, I like to hike. I don't love it. I know the path from my deer blind home. I'm happy. Enough hiking-virtually no chance of me getting lost.
So I didn't get a deer my first morning, but there's always this afternoon.
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