Wednesday, November 8, 2023

How are you?

 Such an innocent question and I wonder if I should answer honestly. Most of the time, I just reply that I'm taking it day by day and I am. I can't tell you what day it is unless I look at the appointments on the calendar or my daily pill pack but I'm going through the motions.  Do you see the dark circles under my eyes? My sleep comes sparingly.  I watch mu husband breathe and if I wake up I have to watch the rise and fall of his chest before I can sleep again. His breathing is the first thing I look for in the morning then I hit the coffee and hope for the best. I try to find things for him to do so he feels needed. Things that won't zap his strength but need to be done. I try to keep our conversation light and positive, but under the cover of darkness we talk about things that I don't want to even think about. I tell myself that trying to prepare isn't giving up, but it feels like it is. How am I? I'm hanging on and praying for a miracle. 

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