When most of us were eating large portions of turkey, my baby couldn't swallow hers that well. It seems like reality is finally setting in for her-she knows her eighty-eight year old grandma won't live forever. She gets more and more proof of this each time she sees her. She's getting weaker and talks about her time being short and sometimes she just drifts off in midsentence. I know that nothing I can see can make this any easier for her.
I remember what it's like to watch Grandma fade away. At seventeen, my parents never lied and said that she would be ok. I just kept hoping that one day when I visited she would get out of bed and be the Grandma that I always knew her to be. That never happened.
She never saw me graduate-but she encouraged me in school. She didn't see me get married, but she taught me to use a curling iron.I have cards and letters that she wrote and one of her paintings on my wall, but when I passed a little old lady that wore the same perfume in the grocery store-I got chill bumps and kept looking around. Soon it will be thirty years since my Grandma passed away.
It's easy to get depressed thinking about everything that she missed-but to Lauren-I'd like to say concentrate on everything you've gotten to do with her. She's seen you play basketball and softball. She saw your in your prom dress and on graduation night. She knows you've gone on to college. You've shared so many jokes and stories. She loves you-very, very much-and her going some place else won't change that. I know.
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