Xanderisms

I wish I could remember all the funny things Xander says, but maybe this will give you an example of why I laughed this weekend.

Scene 1: Dwight, Xander, Oscar, and Dixie were in the basement putting wood in the furnace. Dwight turns around and there's a puddle on the floor.

Dwight asks "Did the dogs do that?"

Xander (smiling) "No, that was me"

Not wanting a repeat performance of Scene 1, I take Xander to the bathroom a couple of hours later. I put him in front of the toilet and all things look like they are a "go"

Xander says "Sorry, it's empty"

Later, I'm fixing dinner and Xander says" I have a problem"

Me"Ok, what's the problem?"

Xander "I can't find the ball"

I find the ball and crisis is avoided.

Fifteen minutes later

Xander "I have another problem"

me "Ok, what's up buttercup?"

Xander "My cup is empty"

Juice in the sippy cup and all is well again

Ten minutes later

Xander " I have a big problem"

Me (trying not to laugh, how big can a three year old's problem possibly be?) "What is it?"

Xander " There's poop in the hallway"

Sure enough, someone had an accident-probably had the crap scared out of them by airplanes and multiple balls being thrown. Cleaned up. All was good for a while.

The next morning started around 3 am (no friggin' joke)

Xander is flying his airplane and the little man falls out.

Xander just looks at the fallen man and exclaims "Poor little fellar"

Mean while, I'm choking down some coffee and preparing chocolate gravy-the only thing I am capable of making at three am.

Xander eats about half his bowl and gets down and tells me

"Chocolate gravy makes me run fast"

Me "Let's see"

so he runs to the end of the all way and back and makes a couple loops around the kitchen table.

Then another bite

"See I told you"

and he continues this Indy 500 race lap until the gravy is gone and I'm trying very hard not to laugh as he falls back asleep by 6 am.