The first Christmas

 Everyone told me the first Christmas after losing someone would be hard. I've been trying to brace myself,  but somehow I forgot to remind myself that Christmas isn't just one day. It's a whole season.  Lasting from the last bite of turkey until the New Year. I made it through the Polar Express and I don't think anyone noticed my misty eyes but I cried myself to sleep. Dwight would have loved seeing the look on David's face when he saw the train. He would have laughed at JD reaching for Santa's beard. He woul have loved chugging cocoa, eating cookies and laughing with Beth, Jody, and Rhonda. I find it ironic that there was one unused ticket. Parker sat on Santa's lap with no problem and wants to go see his friend Santa every day. I really think Dwight would have taken him everyday as his favorite Santa is at Bass Pro. We went and saw the holiday lights in Sherwood where Paul told Parker to look at the partridge in the tree. Look at the bird in the tree. Parker said Dada that's a turkey. So now there's a turkey associated with Christmas too. Maybe Dwight would have stopped me from buying so many dresses for Pruitt, but I seriously doubt it. I took his dad to a Christmas parade and he really enjoyed it. I'm  doing this. I'm getting through it but I wish he was here because I loved seeing him smile and laugh.This was a hard time for Dwight. He lost his mom early in life and like my mom-she truly loved Christmas. His grandpa died Christmas eve too so it took a long time for Christmas to be Merry and jolly for Dwight but he got there. Slowly he got there. I have every intention of getting there too, but he will always be with me in my heart.Always.