I answer the phone at least a hundred times a day. It's my job and the nature of the beast. There are a lot of well meaning people that end our conversations with the words Merry Christmas. I say those words back to them. I choke them out trying not to be rude, but I've never felt less Christmassy in all of my life. I couldn't bring myself to do cards. I wanted to but just couldn't make myself do it. I'm choking on cheer and good will. I know I will get through this and I pray it won't be like this every year. Where are you Christmas? Why can't I find you?
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