Sunday, May 28, 2017

There was a toast

Yesterday, I went to my step-dad's wedding. Like I normally do, I cried. I cry at all weddings at some point, but this was different. It was like a dam burst and I couldn't stop. Maybe it was because I'm happy for him, maybe it was because Kate was so beautiful, and maybe it was because it was just one more reminder that Mom is really gone.
Anyway, through the grace of God and some amazing people around me (Mary, Beth, Jody-this would be you), I recovered. My make up even remained good enough to take pictures.
After kicking myself for a while, I started rethinking the whole "toast" idea. I had already embarrassed myself enough for one day.
Then, we got to the reception and Paul was so nervous about giving his. I told him he would be fine and when he asked if I was going to "toast" I told him honestly, I didn't know if I could. Paul should not have worried. His toast was wonderful, funny, sweet, and it gave you all the warm fuzzy feelings. I am so proud of him.
Then the host was asking people to come forward and it seemed like no one would. One of my kids yelled "Go, Mom" and there was no turning back.
My main objective was to tell Mike that we loved him and welcomed Kate and not cry and not embarrass myself.
I remember introducing myself and my kids. I explained that the handsome young man that gave the previous toast was still single. I told them that Mike had been at the hospital each time I had given birth. That he had been there for softball, baseball, football, and basket ball games. That he had watched them grow up. He had been there for me for some of the best times of my life. He was there for them too being a man he didn't have to be-and we all loved him.
I also went on to explain that Mike had lost some of his "twinkle". When he was happy, like last night-his eyes twinkled kinda like Santa Claus. For a while those eyes were a little dim, but Ms. Kate had brought back the sparkle. I told her I was honored to have her in the family and ended with a toast to life, love, laughter, and happily ever after. That's what I remember anyway.
Before I handed the mic over, I received a nice round of applause and I sat down at the table so proud of myself for not even one crack in the voice. Not one.
So I sit myself down and Casey is wiping her eyes. So is Lauren. So is Beth. Not good. Someone said "damn Mom" so I went into overdrive with something stupid and in a matter of minutes we were all laughing again. Were Mary's eyes a little watery? Surely not.
Dwight and I were driving and I asked him was there something wrong with my toast? He never, ever lies to me. He said no. I told him that I saw Lauren, Casey, and Beth wiping their eyes and he kinda laughed and squeezed my hand. To tell the truth he said he got misty eyed himself. I asked again what was wrong with it-and he said nothing-you just made everyone feel the love and sometimes that gets us softies.
I'm sorry I'm not sorry.
Best Wishes Mike

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