Christmas shoes the updated version

Back in 2009, I wrote a blog about the song with Christmas shoes. A small boy wanted to buy Christmas shoes for his mom because she might meet Jesus that night. He didn't have enough money, but the kind hearted gentleman behind him helped him pay for them and I guess the story ended as well as it could have.
A lot of things in my life have changed since 2009. I've moved to the country so I guess it's only fitting that this story of Christmas shoes should be boots. But, the biggest change in my life has been the death of my mother. I knew Christmas without her would be hard-it was HER holiday. She lived and breathed for Christmas. Her shopping for Christmas started every year on January first. She loved to find Christmas printed toilet paper and every mail order catalog was sent to her house. She was a mail order Queen. It was not surprising that she called me to her bedroom back in May to show me her latest Christmas acquisition... a pair of boots for my youngest daughter.In the weeks following her untimely death, I cleaned her bedroom for hours and never saw those boots again. I guess it slipped my mind. There were so many other things to think about and take care of.
 The months slipped by and it was time to celebrate Christmas. Our family is larger than life. Love filled every nook and cranny of a three story Ozark cabin. It had come time to open gifts. My daughter opened a box from her Grandma and Grandpa Mike, and inside were those boots. She slipped off her shoes and put them on. I tried to tell those sitting next to me that Mom had gotten those boots for her but I choked over the lump in my throat and spilled red wine all over a cream colored blouse. As those next to me cleaned me up, my daughter made her way to Grandpa to thank him for the boots. He told her that Grandma was the one that had bought them for her. A perfect fit. They matched her Christmas outfit. Concentrating on clearing my own eyes, I didn't see her give her Grandpa Mike a big hug or all the other misty eyes in the room, but I know they were there. I also know that crazy lady was doing a jig in heaven because the boots fit and that she loved them.

another pinterest post....

Cryfest 2014 Cancelled

I was talking to one of my beautiful daughters and I asked her if she was looking forward to Christmas. She quickly replied not really and I asked why. Her response was between my sisters and I- Christmas was going to be the ultimate "Cryfest". At first, I thought her mother should have taught her to lie a little better. Then, I thought maybe she needed to say it. I remember I would rather take a beating rather than watch my mother cry. That's saying something because she cried on the anniversary of someone's death-even thirty years later, she cried a movies, certain Christmas songs, and even when she was happy. Still I would rather take a beating than watch tears roll down her face. My ex once accused me of being selfish-may be I have been. I've been so absorbed in my grief that I didn't think how it would affect those that love me the most. I know my husband hates my tears and I can only imagine my children feel the same way. I don't want to be the sad "Aunt" or the one that people avoid at Christmas. Just because I don't cry doesn't mean I miss my mom any less. It's just that it's the 22nd of December and if tears would make me feel better-they should have done it by now. I know it will be hard-there are so many memories of Christmas that involve Mom. She made Christmas special. My husband said that's one thing he really misses about his mom-she made Christmas special. You know what? I can't bring back anyone, but I'm a mom too. I can make Christmas special and maybe create a little magic of my own. Christmas is known for that....

Puppy love

It's hard to take a really clear picture of a black dog against a dark couch, but this is Oscar cuddled up to his sister Dixie. So often it appears that he is the cuddly one, but really she's much better a cuddling up for longer periods of time. And he snores. But this "puppy love" isn't a one-sided affair. A larger dog played a little too rough with Oscar and made him whelp. Dixie came running as fast as her six inch legs could go. I don't know what she thought she was going to do against a dog ten to twelve times her size, but she was coming to help her bro. These two are a pain in the keester at two am, but they make me laugh and have stole my heart (it's probably shredded under the couch with the dryer sheets).

Walking through the Past

This past weekend the current owners of the Dogpatch theme park reopened the park for visitors. Most of the time you see parts of the park from the road and it's all fenced off with serious "No Trespassing" signs posted every where. I thought there would be a couple of other people interested-but hundreds walked the old park this week end.
I remember going to the park as a child and teenager.

I remember hanging out in one of these shacks as a teenager. Some of the buildings are in poor shape, but the church is in great shape:

Every where you went, you could hear people talking about things they remembered. I don't remember the honey bee building, but Dwight did-I don't think either of us remembered that honey was $1.75 a quart back in 1975.

I  did not remember the kissing rocks either:

I do remember the train and the swinging bridge:

Dwight remembered the train for a different reason. His Grandpa had told him there had been a train come by recently. Little boy Dwight wanted to know how his Grandpa knew-and his Grandpa told him because the train had left tracks...

black friday/cyber monday

By the time I get around to posting this Black Friday and Cyber Monday will both be completely over.
I didn't stay up all night Thurday-I actually got six hours of some much needed sleep. I even talked Beth into going to Walmart in Pine Bluff Thanksgiving night(a nightmare). She and Jody have both vowed to never do it again.
My Black Friday shopping was very successful-filled the Prius to the gills(I say gills because the last thing I got to buy that day was a couple of fish-and I had to hold them in my lap). So, I attempted Cyber Monday sales. It was fine until some of the sites got to congested and I got kicked off, but still I mananged to get a couple of things on sale.
My sister wouldn't even consider braving the crowds with me. Why would she? Mom and I had always braved the crowds for her. I must admit both of us loved every minute of it. One time at one of our last stores-around 6 am-she told me she couldn't move anymore-we had started at 8 pm with no sleep. I had to stand in line by myself. She called me back to the car-and after I made sure someone was saving my place in line-I went to see what she wanted. She made me lean in the car window to hear her whisper:"Do you realize you're the only white person in line?" I told her shhh... maybe no one will notice-and the man in the next car started laughing so hard he spilled his coffee, but I got those video games.
We had a lot of fun shopping for the perfect "present" and I'll never forget all the laughs we had but if I could tell her one thing it would be the "perfect present" doesn't come from any store. It's "your presence".  I am grateful for so many wonderful memories and I aim to make many, many more. 

The Natural order of things

I know there is a natural order of things. People and animals are born, they live, and die. I know all of this, and on some level I have to accept it-but I will never, never like it.
I knew when I got Kate that she had seen better days. I knew she was an old horse. I knew that one day she would move on to greener pastures, but I didn't think it would be this soon or that I would take it quite this hard. My only consolation is she knew I loved her and that she didn't suffer. I will miss her snickers, her nuzzles, and her soft soulful eyes.
R.I.P. Kate