Good Things

2023 started off with a beautiful wedding.

I have to say me and the sibs cleaned up pretty good-as did Parker supporting his first bow tie. 

Lauren and Gilmore-he kissed her before she caught the bouquet.

Can anyone have more beautiful daughters?

Ah, you know I had to sneak one selfie in? Right

 There were so many, many good pictures. 

Age is just a number and grief is just a word

 This is January,  only the first month of 2023, and already two of my coworkers have died. One was 41 and had been ill for a really long time. I thought with his age he would pull out of it, but unfortunately I was wrong. I was completely at a loss at what to say to his wife and children. 41 is just too damn young. Then, another one was found deceased this week and he was only 32. Signing a card to his mom, has not been the high light of my day. 32? WTH? Just a baby. Some of my babies are older. So, so many sayings have run through my head and they won't stop. Ones like it's not the number of breaths you take, but the number of breaths that take your breath away. When it's your time, it's your time.  All of these random things just going in and out my head and I don't like it one bit. Talking to another friend, that lost her mom last year. Her Christmas was quiet and really subdued and she spent most of her time alone-how very different from my Christmas after losing mom. All thirty of us gathered in a cabin in the mountains. Reading poems by Spock. Drinking Mexican hot chocolate. Playing games. Laughing at each other and sometimes crying together. I think that's the word that's sticking with me-together. I know no matter how depressed or lonely I get, family is just a call away. If I sound desperate enough, they'll be at my front door before I can get the spare rooms ready. Aunt Mary calls her Family Calendars-"Greatest Family in the World" and I agree. We're not perfect. We squable. We have different views. We act different. Live different, but we're there for each other. We always have been. Always will be. And I'm going to be childish and say fuck grief just because I can. 

Folgers in your cup

 

Some people say the best part of waking up is Foldgers in your cup. I agree that coffee is an essential start to every morning, but some times the best part of waking up, is the hugs. 

My heart

 There's something about holding a baby for the first time. Then there's something else about holding the baby and putting him to sleep or giving him comfort. They way he knows your smell, your voice, the curve of your shoulder. Then you can add another whole level of unexpected joy when he actively reaches for you and wants just you.  It may be to escape his parents or just to be held but there's nothing in the world like holding a baby that wants you. It will fill your heart with so much joy.