Dear Mom Anniversary #8

 Dear Mom, 

This weekend should have been hard. The anniversary of your death and Mother's Day-a double whammy.

I still miss you every day. I really, really do, but this year it was different for me. I looked at a picture of Lee and her boys and she reminded me so much of you-she was even wearing a lipstick color that you might have worn-and they were all smiles and you could tell that they really loved each other and you would have smiled at the picture, I know you would have. While I spent my Saturday with my baby Lauren, Gilmar, and Mike-your youngest granddaughter graduated from Auburn. She really did it -and the look on her momma's face-she's just so very proud. We all are. Imagine your baby Casey a college girl  and the first grandchild to graduate out of state. Your son put a beautiful cross on your grave and on Nanny's too. I was worried about having flowers but Pat took care of it.  I didn't make the trip down because Lauren and Mike had made plans to come up and I had been doing so well. No deep depression. I haven't had to stop the car to catch my breath and wipe the tears and to be honest I haven't had the time-I'm trying to be you now. You tried to tell me how wonderful grandchildren are... And they are. They fill my heart with so much love and joy. It's hard to have room for anything else. Oh, when they reach out for you, grab your finger, or smile. So much love. I get to watch Robyn go through it too. Remember "we don't have ugly babies in our family?"  We really don't. Robyn's Everly is a stunning red head. Just stunning. Paul's Parker has the best baby smile and David with his dark beautiful hair is quite the looker too. They are all so precious. I'm loving them as hard as I can just because I want too, but I know you would have too. 

And mom, my crazy hillbilly is crazy about them too. I can't imagine a man loving my grandchildren as much as I do but he does. With every ounce of his being. Just one more reason to love him.

And none of this would be possible without you. None of it. 

You just keeping on giving love and blessings and I can't thank you enough.