First day of Vacation August 1

Yes, this post is ten days late, but most of the time we were gone-I didn't have access to the internet.
July 31st was as my sisters call it "an ugly cry day". First, Lee posted a blog that made me cry because I could feel her pain or it was just too beautifully written. I had almost dried those tears when the other sister posted a video of Mom's voice. The first time I listened, I cried so hard I couldn't make out anything. The second time I listened to the words and made out what she was saying. The third time, I listened just because it was so good to hear her voice. So very good to hear that voice. So the first day of vacation, I was leaving that all behind me. Running from Mom, but she caught up with me at our very first stop. The Badlands. My mom and the Badlands don't appear to have anything in common.  The Badlands are hot and dry. Pictures don't do the land justice. The colors pop. The air is warm, but there's always a little breeze blowing. There's a wonderful smell of wildflowers and cedar. Yes, cedar. We were traveling through "Cedar Pass" and I heard a familiar whisper. It took me a second to place that sound, but there were "popular" trees in Cedar Pass. The trees are very scrawny and have heart shaped leaves that when blown together make a whispering sound. I grew up listening to that sound. Mom had a popular tree planted by the driveway. How she loved that stupid, scrawny tree. I spent many days on the front porch with my head in a book listening to that tree. Listening to that sound took me back to that front porch, smelling dinner. Listening for the sound of my dad's motorcycle and hearing that tree. It made me smile. Then I listened to the trees some more and they took on Mom's voice. She said things would get better soon, she loved us, that I should hang on tight, and take lots of pictures. I know it was all in my head, but it made me smile anyway. I know I will never really run away from Mom. Her blood runs deep in me. Little by little, I'm beginning to understand that just because she isn't here physically doesn't mean she's not here. She'll always with me even in the most unlikely places.