A long walk before the funeral

I took a long walk. I'm not sure of the distance, but I wanted something to hurt other than my heart. I figured I had succeeded when my calves started to twtch and sweat started to seep into variuos nooks and crannies. I went down an old logging road. Past the gates that block the road. I started to scream. loud and hard from the bottom of my broken heart. Then I screamed some more. I saida lot of things that my mom would not approve of. I wailed until my throat hurt as much as my heart and my tear weary eyes. Then I started back and I thought of how much she had taught me. She taught me how to live with heart ache and disappointment and fear. She cried with me so many times.Making me feel loved and leaving me wanting to shake it off and do anything to see her beautful smile. I want to make her smile one more time. This buttercup is going to suck it up. I am going to make her proud of me just one more time. I'd like to think of her elbowing Jesus in the ribs telling Him that she gave birth (pointing) to that one there.