in the knowing

There's an old cartoon about a man deliberately washing all of the laundry on hot so that he tints all the clothes one color, upsets his wife, and gets out of doing laundry forever. I thought about this when Lauren sent Gilmar to the grocery store for some lettus and he came back with a head of cabbage. I'll give him the benefit of a doubt-he was probably in a hurry and they do look a lot alike. Personally, I think cabbage on tacos would be gross so I understood too how she could be upset. Then came the black eye pea incident, you know everyone eats black eye peas on New Year's(for good luck)-so she sent him to the grocery store only to have him return with black beans. This is making me laugh just typing this. Lauren went to the store and indeed they were out of black eyed peas,but she saved the day digging in the back of her pantry-finding some black eyed peas to eat and insure good luck for 2021. Then Gilmar sent her to the store for hamburger buns and I know how badly she wanted to get hot dog buns. I wish she would have asked my advice, but she didn't. I would have told her to get the hot dog buns only if it would make him laugh. Laughter is the best medicine especially if you share it with someone you love. It took me a long time to learn something so simple. I know my husband loves me. I know he does. Does that mean he will leave the toilet seat down in the middle of the night? No, I don't think he will ever master that task. I like to think he tries. So when I'm feeling pissy, I'll remind him that he'll have to help me out of the toilet when I fall in. Same thing about whiskers on the sink. He knows it drives me batshit crazy. He knows it! But every morning, I know exactly how much he's trimmed his beard, but that's ok. Sometimes I cheat and use his razor to shave under my arms. I feel justified in doing so. But we can laugh about it and choose to do so. Relationships are hard. They take work and nourishing. We've been married for 10 years now. Dated for three. We still have a date night. We still go out of our way to cook and do chores for each other. He buys the feed, I feed the horses and chickens. I buy the hay-he makes sure it's stacked and given to the horses on a schedule so they have enough to last all winter. I make sweet tea. He makes lemonaide. it's all in the knowing

On my mind, in my heart

Today, I made the decision to call my sister-in-law. It was hard-just voicing the words.: "I'm sorry your mom is gone. She was such a special lady." And wishing with all of my heart that I didn't know what that felt like. Knowing what it feels like, I wish I could take all the pain away and make her laugh remembering good times. The same for my brother and their kids. She will be missed by so many people and she truly was a special lady. Rest in Peace Nana.

Pandemic Praying

It's no surprise that prayers have increased since the pandemic has started. No surprise either that my family is mentioned every day. More and more. Why are so many of my loved ones taking care of others? Why couldn't they just be bums? I thought I was scared when my baby caught covid. Realistically, she was better equipped than most people to handle it. She's young, healthy, and very much in the know. She had the oxygen thingy ready and her big brother was close by(he's a nurse too). She came through like a champ. I'm happy about that. Now my youngest nephew appears to have it. He's so young. I can't imagine how worried his mom probably is. And Nana has it too. Prayers for everyone. Every day. Please make it go away and let the healing begin.

Me time

Today is my last Monday off work for a while. After ten years, I finally have enough seniority to bid Monday through Friday day time hours. I haven't done this in about thirty years so it may take some getting used to. After staying in the house for three days, I knew I would venture out today. I didn't even feel guilty putting the dogs in the basement. I headed out with a cup of coffee a

nd a fully charged camera. Drove over Sherman Mountain to Ponca. The elk were too far out. No eagles to be seen, but a beautiful fog made the scenery enjoyable. I took some barn pictures. I'm grateful to live in an area where beauty is all around me. i only took five or six pictures today, but I could have easily doubled that amount. It feels good to breathe deep and just be.