Rainy day letter

I know it's weird, but sometimes I clean to relax especially in the rain. It's rained ten of the last 14 days, so I'm cleaning in unusual places. My poor kids have known that if they should ever leave something out in the open-on the bed, a night stand,or what ever. I read the letter. Doesn't matter if it's marked personal or if it's addressed to me or not. I find it, I read it. Always have. So I ran across this letter in my mama's handwriting. Second strike-it's in mama's handwriting  so I'm definitely reading this sucker. I know it's addressed to Lauren, but I could swear she's talking to me too.

"Dear Lauren,
On your Mom's web page she mentioned your were sad about Grandma Marty. If you have time to read this let me tell you about my Grandma. She was my Dad's Mother like Marty is your Dad's Mom. My Grandma was more of a Mother to me than my mother or step mother ever were. She taught me how to cook and sew and lots of small things that only a mother usually does.
When I got the phone call she had passed away my heart was broken into a million pieces. When my uncle brought her back to Sheridan to be buried next to her husband, I really didn't think I could see her. I was so upset and scared to see someone who meant so much to me but as I walked up to her casket my tears were replaced by a smile. She looked so nice and had on the dress I had bought for her to wear to my wedding some 22 years earlier. It meant a lot to me that she had saved that dress for so many, many years. I managed to get through the pain and sadness of losing her because I had SO MANY WONDERFUL MEMORIES OF HER ALL THROUGH MY LIFE. She was always there when I was young. I spent many summers with her and we always had a lot of good times.. She was there for me when I was married, she made my dress and cake. She was there when I had my first beautiful daughter-your mom! The wonderful memories of special times are something God gives us to help lessen the pain of losing them, but please believe that we will see our loved one again.
I know first hand how much Grandma Marty has always loved you. She has been so proud of you.
I know that YOU WILL BE UPSET BUT PLEASE ALWAYS KEEP ALL THE WONDERFUL MEMORIES YOU HAVE CLOSE TO YOUR HEART.

     All my love my precious Lauren,  I love you and could not be of   prouder of you.

Grandma"

In typical Mom fashion, it isn't dated. Lauren, sorry I'm not sorry I read it.

Eating a salad

Since February, we have been harvesting lettus. First out of the basement and currently out of the garden. For a while, Dwight and I had salads every Tuesday and Thursday but with all the damn rain we've had to change our schedule to Monday, Wednesday, and Friday salads so that we are not over run with lettus.
So let me tell you about my salad.
I like lettus but only if the pieces are small and have a great deal of dressing-Dwight has asked me not to put dressing on his salads because I drown the lettus. Not true. It swims.
I love the cucumbers. They sink.  I will tolerate the tomatoes because they float and it's fun to stab them. I like the radishes that we grew in the garden sliced so thinly you can see through them, but not the ones from the store. You can't put too much cheese or garlic croutons on the salad (again Dwight does not share this point of view).
It's mostly vegetables and it's not fried so I'm headed in the right direction. Unless you count the fried onions sprinkled on top, then I'm doomed.

Going to work

The other day I found this little picture

and tho the dog has more brown-it reminded me of my own sweet Dixie. Dixie has to be crated when I leave or in the house. When she is let out, she will trail my scent to where I parked the car and go down the drive way until she is stopped. Today, Dwight got off early and she was outside when I loaded into the car-she very quickly jumped in and had to be physically removed so I could go to work. I feel terrible about deserting my little girl. But, I love coming home to her kisses and little wiggly butt.
I forsee some treats in the future. Stay strong baby. Mommy's coming home soon.

A year ago

A year ago, I got off work around ten in the morning after working all night. I went home , fed the animals, and brought the mail in. I opened the sweetest Mother's Day card from my mom then I went to sleep thinking I would call her and tell her thanks when I woke up. I never got that chance. Dwight woke me up to tell me she was gone.
Just like that, in the snap of a finger, my world changed.
For the first time ever, I had to face death and it's consequences. One of the constants in my life was gone. I didn't get a chance to say good bye and I'm left with so many unanswered questions. I'll never know why she did some of the things she did and why she left...but I know that I am not alone. It took her death to wake me up and make me realize how very fortunate I am. She created a family that lives on in their love and memories. We've grown stronger, older, and a little bit wiser.
There's not a day that goes by that I don't miss her and it was on one of  the days that I couldn't shake the blues  that I ran across something by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. I've saved it to my desk top and read it more often than I'll  ever admit.

At our house

Horchata

New recipe today
Horchata
4 cups of whole milk
1 cinnamon stick
1 14 ounce can sweetened condensed milk
one half cup of rice flour
2 teaspoons of vanilla

Warm milk and cinnamon on the stove. You don't want it to boil just get it really warm. Remove from heat. Add condensed milk, flour and vanilla and whisk. Then place in the refrigerator for 3 hours. Strain the milk before serving with ice and rum.