Newton County Toy Ride

Today we did our second toy ride for the year. It started at the square in Harrison.

It was a warm, windy, and beautiful day. There were over 40 bikes taking part.

 

We drove down Highway 7 to Jasper.

There were lots of fun curves:

We crossed the little Buffalo

and invaded the town

to put toys for tots under the tree.

what I'm doing in sub zero temperatures...

I love Lee's reading list attached to her blog. For a long time, it seems like the only thing I read was magazine articles and Pinterest. Then a miracle happened. The eye doctor actually prescribed the correct lenses and bam..back in the reading business. Now I usually have at least 2 books going at the same time.
My favorite Author of all time... Jodi Picoult

Jodi’s new novel, Leaving Time, was released in the US, Canada, and Australia October 14, 2014, and in the UK on 4th November. 13-year-old Jenna Metcalf is on a quest, searching for her mother, Alice, an elephant researcher, who disappeared 10 years earlier after a tragic accident at their sanctuary for former circus/zoo elephants in New England. Leaving Time explores the mother-daughter relationship, be it elephant or human, and the idea that those we can't forget are never truly gone. …

Successful Failure

This morning for the very first time EVER, I went to my deer stand in the dark by myself. This sounds pretty simple. But back up, woods in the dark terrify me. I hear bear and mountain lions and just about jump out of skin my when my stomach growls. My fear of the dark is only surpassed by my fear of heights. Usually the hubster will walk me to my stand and watch patiently at the bottom until I reach the top rung. I'm ok once I sit down, but climbing a sixteen feet seems more like 32 feet and if that sucker sways even the tiniest bit-it will take me a good thirty minutes to climb it. But not if I'm by myself out running bear, mountain lions, or the big foot of the Ozarks. No sir, I'm willing to bet I made it up in less than 10 seconds. Didn't even hesitate at the top rung. That's where the successful part ends(actually I made it down in one piece too) but I missed a doe. I got a second shot-and missed again. Third shot proved just as unlucky. So climbing down and landing in one piece was really a good thing-especially since lots of body parts were frozen.
On a side note. If you've never been in the woods on a night with a full moon, you're really missing a magical forest.

Stages of grief

It's been 6 months now and I'm trying to understand this "grief" thing. There are four stages: 1)denial 2)depression 3)anger and 4)acceptance. There is no timeline for any stage. I honestly couldn't tell you what stage I'm in. I can tell  you there are days I doubt my sanity. I want to put my dad in a germ free bubble. No guns or motorcycles. No tree stands over 2 feet. No ladders. For pete's sake take away his power tools(and those belonging to Mike too). UALR would be one teacher short-the hood is a little too dangerous for him in my opinion. Can you imagine him agreeing with any of this???? Right after hell freezes over. I really feel sorry for my husband. I know when he takes the motorcycle (and I watch road conditions). He gets grilled every day-did he take his vitamins? did he eat enough protein with breakfast? is he drinking water through out the day? has he propped his foot above his heart for 30 minutes? has he doctored all of his open cuts? did he get enough rest? I don't know why he puts up with me. Oh yes, I do. He loves me very much. And as much as I don't understand grief, he does.
I know each person handles grief differently, but I don't understand myself. There are days that go by and I'm fine. There are no melt downs. I can sing Elvis and Barry. I can even laugh and tell stories about her. I can look at pictures with dry eyes. Those days happen. Then, for no reason. It pours and I am powerless to stop it. There may be a trigger on some days-her birthday was a given, but others? There is no trigger-no warning and I pray I'm not in public. If some one could just yank the knife out of my heart on those days, I would appreciate it. I try to control it, but sometimes I can't and that's when it's the worst.  Dwight will find me and wrap me in a bear hug and I'll tell him I miss my mom. He'll hold me a little bit tighter and tell me I always will. And I'll wish he wasn't so damn honest.

Birthdays

 So today Momma would have been 72. Sometimes, I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that she's really gone. There are so many times I want to call and tell her about something-or I'll see something and think "I can't wait to show Mom", and that won't ever happen again. So today I had planned to drown my feelings and everything else in some really good Dr. Pepper and Rum.
But sometimes fate steps in and you have to roll with it.
For some reason, the only time Xander's mom could get the party room was today. So Xander is having his second birthday today. I'll be there. I want the little booger to know how much I love him. We'll take pictures, play games, eat cake, and open presents. I'll smile and be nice. I'll even sing the birthday song-it won't matter if I sound funny-I 've never been known for my vocal talents anyway.
Then I'll come home and not be able to tell my mom about the party or how excited Xander was to eat cake-and I'll have more than one Dr. Pepper and rum.