Just like that

 And just like that, we're in the last week of February.  I have 20 work days left but 33 days total and if it goes as fast as February has I'll wake up retired. I'm not old enough to be retired but then I remind myself I have five grandchildren.  One great grand by marriage. Heath's intended has a grandson named Nolan. There are five weekends in May and I have four beach trips planned to different beaches with different people. Let the memories begin. 

Oops

 If you read my last post, you might think the numbers don't make sense and they don't. As of today, I have 21 working days(there's a week of vacation scheduled) and 36 total days until March 28th.  It's beginning to get real. I wish Dwight was here to see this and be a part of it. I miss him so very much, but he made this possible for me and I keep hearing his voice say "Take care of my boys" I will take care of them and I'll take care of me too. I will do my best and treasure every moment.  

If ykyk

 24 more working days and 66 days total

Thanks dear Hubby

 Whenever I asked Dwight about his retirement,  he always said that there was none. His job didn't provide a pension but he'd have social security and what he'd put into his 401 k. He said he started it when we got married so there wasn't much in there. I never really thought about it. We paid our bills and lived our lives as we wanted. When he really retired, he took control of his 401 and bought a bass boat and he'd tell me if he lost or made money that day. It's not a ton of money, but it will make things easier for me and definitely gave me the opportunity to retire early. It's taken me a long time to transfer the money over to my name because I didn't do anything to earn it and he worked his ass off. I'm taking the final steps to put it to use to secure my future. A future without him, but one that he made possible and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. I know I feel grateful and loved.

If ykyk

 34 Working days. 52 total. Not wishing my life away just want more of the fun stuff.

That old feeling

 I baby sat Parker and Pruitt this weekend.  She's rocking 3 and a half months.  Turns over and may crawl soon. Parker celebrates his third birthday this week. As I was rocking Parker to sleep, I couldn't help but notice that his legs dangle past my knees. I remember when his feet didn't even hit the top of my jeans. He still likes his back rubbed and tolerates my singing. A wave of love went through me as I held him. Still. Stronger than ever. Each time I hold him I feel a surge of love. 

Just words

  I cleaned up a lot of paperwork this weekend.  There were stacks of paper. Every card and every note I had written to my husband-he kept, but he never bought cards. He'd tell me that he loved me and Hallmark wouldn't help him say it any better. I was thinking about that and I found this piece of paper with these words on it:

You can say sorry a million times, say I love you as much as you want, say whatever you want, whenever you want. But, if you're not going to prove that the things you say are true,  then don't say anything at all because if you can't show it, your words don't mean a thing.

He showed it in so many ways.